Little Mary - Let's Talk

A stranger was seated next to Little Mary on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

Little Mary, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK," Little Mary said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass--the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."

Little Mary fires back, "Then do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Little Mary - Sunday School

Little Mary was never good in Sunday School, so she decided to sleep through class, but one day the teacher asked her a question "Mary, who created the universe?" Mary never moved from her deep sleep, so David, a little boy who sits behind her in class took his pen and poked her with it and Mary jumped up and yelled "God almighty" and the teacher told her it was correct.

A little while later the teacher asked her another question "Mary, who is our lord and savior?" again Mary never answered so David poked her with his pen again and Mary jumps up and yells "Sweet Jesus!!" The teacher told her it was correct, so Mary went back to sleep.

The teacher then asked her a third question, "Mary, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 23rd child?"

So one last time David pokes Mary with his pen 1 last time, but this time Mary jumps up and yells "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'm gonna break it in half!!"

Then the teacher faints.

Little Mary - Poor Catfish

Little Mary was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Mary?"

"My goldfish died," replied Little Mary tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Little Mary patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."